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Today’s show notes are provided by the Jot ‘Em Down Journal of December, 1998.
Lum has received a telegram (was it delivered by Grandpappy Spears?) informing him of the demise of his ”dear old Uncle”Manaus, a relative whose name he can’t seem to remember. (He calls him ”Silas,” among other names.) Lum is due to inherit a FORTUNE of some kind, and claims his newfound wealth will not change his personality, although he answers the phone as ”Diamond Lum Eddards!” Uncle ‘Minus, Lum says, ”had the typical Eddards features.” Abner cracks, ”In that case, maybe he’s better off dead!
If Lum is truly about to become wealthy, perhaps he can afford a nice birthday gift for Miss Rowena – one that will reflect his personality. Abner suggests the inheritance can surely buy her something better than that! Ben Withers recalls a wonderful gift he once gave to a young lady of Mount Ida – a necklace made of ”selected peach and prune pits” (with a large avocado seed in the center, bearing the inscription ”I love you”)! Squire Skimp encourages ”Wealthy Playboy Eddards” to buy Rowena an expensive mink coat, and within no time the garment is on its way to her residence. Finally, Lum’s ”FORTUNE” arrives, in a large crate – it’s even labeled ”FORTUNE!” It happens to be a large ”Sam Bernard dog” named ”FORTUNE!!!” ”Now Lum,” Abner encourages, ”he might not be worth much, but thar’s the biggest one `Fortune’ you’ll ever see!” This may be true, but it does little toward paying Squire for Rowena’s mink. The lady herself arrives at the store, bringing a letter to Lum from ”the post office gentleman” (Dick Huddleston is not mentioned). The letter explains that Lum is to receive $2,500, to be
used in caring for Fortune the dog! ”Fine,” as Ben would say, except Lum gave the dog to Abner! No problem – ”Lizabeth” won’t let Abner keep Fortune. (The dog slept with Abner, while his ”good woman” was expected to bed down on the dining room floor!) Lawyer Herbert Rawlinson arrives to pay the ”Fortune- money to Lum, and proceeds to deduct the usual fees and taxes until Lum owes money! The story doesn’t end there – Fortune becomes ”MISS”-Fortune, giving birth to eight little ”Fortunes!”
Find out more about Lum and Abner by visiting The National Lum and Abner Society.
