Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 14:34 — 13.3MB)
Where there is marriage, there is conflict. Discovering annoying habits doesn’t mean a marriage is over. We enter the scene of Elizabeth and David Gordon in a marital spat. Is she being unreasonable? Is he shouting too much? Are the pressures of work wearing on him? Are her frustrations due to the boredom of being a housewife?
As she hides in the bedroom and packs to go home to mother, David looks for a counseling book given to them as a marriage gift. The chapter on settling differences has good advice, as long as David can get Elizabeth to listen to him. The book advises: Most fights start from a trivial thing. It doesn’t take much when one person is already on edge. Also, husbands and wives lash out at each other when using the situation as a safety valve to release pent up tensions. In discussing their roles in the argument, tempers cool enough to admit their fault in it. The real source of tension is revealed. A phone call from one of the executives’ wives with unwanted advice for Elizabeth. What else does the book say? Don’t run home to mother.
Another chapter instructs how to quarrel with 8 tips.
- Accept the fact of conflict without blame.
- Try to find out what the whole thing means to your mate. Keep calm as you talk it out.
- Ask yourself honestly, why are you annoyed?
- Don’t let tensions pile up
- If it’s a serious conflict, try to agree on a next step to solving it at once. Bring in a marriage counsellor or religious advisor in for help.
- Help the other save face. Avoid sniping at each other. Focus on the problem, not the others faults.
- Be patient.
- If it gets beyond you, get competent counselling help.
