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People Are Funny – How to Scare Away Tax Collectors. 531013. (retro314).
Art Linkletter polls the audience for tourists to volunteer for the stunts on the show tonight. Audience volunteer, Eric Right gets a tough question but answers it right anyway. Eric is an instructor in aeronautics in Louisianna, and Art talks to him about Income Tax, and the new operation that the IRS has been doing lately to go door to dor to make sure people have paid their tax.
To see how many folks in the neighborhood agree with the National polls, Art sends the man out with a special offer. He is to ask to see how many people are against the new operation, and to see if they would be interested in buying a sign that might help. He isn’t supposed to sell any signs, but just to see if anyone will be willing to buy one of the quarrantine signs. Eric leaves, and has all the details, except that one house in the neighborhood has an IRS agent living there. Next is Mr slater who appears without his wife, and talks to Art about his job back in Illinois. He has a travelling companion who is an old Army buddy from the war. They are such close friends that they would do anything for each other. How far would they go to lie for each other?
Mr Slater’s friend gets to sit over a tank of water, and as soon as the first true statement is made, into the tank he goes. Mrs Slater comes out, and Mr Slater has to tell lies to his wife to keep his friend dry. Art asks the couple about their married life, if they ever have fights, and what kind of good or bad habits they have. So far so good, but Art persists. Finally a lie that is such a whopper that the love test is put to it’s limit. Let’s just say the friend goes swimming. For being good sports, the friends and wife all get a nice prize.
Another tourist is a Reserve Air Force officer. As Art interviews him, they talk about dogs. He is going to return home after being away for a few years, and he will have a special job when he gets home. Art tells about a special doggie contest for those who have recently adopted a dog. Our audience volunteer will return home to judge the contest. The suspense is broken, and the home town in question is revealed. Anybody who has adopted a dog in the last week in Salt Lake City, is eligible for this contest.
Art gets back to the man with the quarrantine signs. After checking about 9 houses, and with varying results where some people were against the IRS invasion, but didn’t want the signs, and some even using language that can’t be repeated on radio.
Finally he tells of his interesting visit with the IRS agent. Art gives him a nice prize for his efforts and warns that winnings are taxable income.
Bonus Tracks:
George Burns, Gracie Allen, and Gregory Peck. 1949. Gracie’s Dream Man.
Glenn Miller. 1944. A Lovely Way to Spend an Evening.
PS: For a few music tracks and to see what Keith is listening to, visit:
https://retro-otr.com/resources/bonus-audio
