Jack is at home, trying to stir up something for breakfast. When he needs help with breakfast, Jack has to wake Rochester up. On the way to answer the door, Polly is still sulking after her bout with the psychiatrist in last weeks show. Mary and Dennis pop in. It seems that Dennis is in the market for a new house. Dennis sings, Lady of Spain.
Next, Dennis talks about some medical procedures before he and Mary take off. Bob Crosby phones in and talks to Jack about dropping in at his place for a card game. Mr Kitzel phones in for a few jokes using Jack as his straight man.
Jack wants something to read, so he looks over book titles and settles on a story about the Purple Pirate. As he reads, the drama begins. Plenty of pirate related jokes and parodies abound. The Sportsmen sing a pirate medley of tunes.
Jack faces off with rival pirate Dennis, and is captured. Jacks book reading is interupted, just at the cfrucial moment, by a delivery at the doorbell. I guess he really was saved by the bell when it came to his, and Mary’s fate in the drama.