Fred Allen – Town Hall Tonight Amateur Night 370310 (RV010 retro 444)

Also called Fred Allen – Murder On The High Seas, Or Boy Meets Gull. 370310.

Peter VanSeetin and his singers kick off the show by singing, Boo Hoo. Fred reads the Town Hall Bulletin with stories including: matches, and rear ends. In the news: Outstanding underdogs of 1936, movies, and wives. Town Hall awards go to people who managed special accomplishments in movie theaters, and loud singers. Income tax for Hollywood celebrities is portrayed. After the flap jack champion of America is interviewed, the band plays, I Got Rhythm. Portland enters with the latest from her family. Papa has a new invention for putting sugar in coffee, and a suit with a rubber collar. Fred is interupted by an argument from some intruders on the stage. They turn out to be lawyers, and the jokes go there as well. The lawyers offer their services to Fred for suing Jack Benny. The Town Hall Quartet sing, The Farmer in the Dell. Followed by the mid show station break

. The Mighty Allen Art Players present Murder on the High Seas, or One Long Pan Helps Boy Meet Gull. As the captain talks to his crew, the nautical jokes reign. Then news of a murder is learned. There’s only one man who can help, One Long Pan. The oriental detective enters with his own style of sailig jokes. The Hong Kong Hillbilly interviews the murdered man’s wife to try to determine the cause of death. Maybe that bullet hole in his chest might be a clue? The murders keep coming,and so do the puns and jokes of One Long Pan. What does it all mean? With all the bodies piling up, One Long Pan manages to solve the crime wholesale. What is the clue that ties it all together? Peter Van Seetin and the Ipana Trubadors perform, Slumming on Park Avenue.

Town Hall Variety. Fred teases Jack Benny about his social graces, and about Jack talking to Stewart Canon playing the Bee, claiming that Jack’s a bully. Fred threatens to crash Jack’s show next week. Which, although Jack doesn’t appear in tonight’s show, he has been broadcasting his show from New York for a temporary run at this time.

It’s amateur night, and the amateurs include:

  • Peter Rogers, who plays musical glasses, Some of These Days.
  • Professor Quiggley, the escape artist who can’t escape. Fred and the prof argue over being cheated when he goes over the time limit and Fred has to open the box. Hilliarious.
  • A mixed choir sings, All God’s Children Got Shoes.

No Bonus track:
Just a quick intro, then those old fashioned Retrobots take over.

Note: To find a version of this episode without the comments from those old fashioned Retrobots, try this: Fred Allen – Murder On The High Seas, Or Boy Meets Gull. 370310.