As the show begins, Jack is absent. Mary announces that he’s in the hallway, talking to his writers. We listen in as Mary goes to eavesdrop to learn that the script hasn’t been written yet. Why doesn’t Jack fire his incompitent writers? There seems to be a matter of blackmail.
Bob Crosby talks to Jack about his band members, and Frankie Remley’s latest adventures. At least the band is loyal to Jack, right? There’s still the problem of filling the time with no script.
Dennis arrives and jokes about his lack of pay. Hey, he’s getting $80 per week. In the 1943 season, he was only getting $35. Who says Jack is stingy?
As Jack tries to think of ideas for the show, he gets a telegram from Fred Allen. Jack leaves to check on his writers, and how the script is standing. Back on stage, Jack adlibs, but Mary pulls the punchlines. The Sportsmen get ready to sing, but first Rochester phones in. He has to report a matter of a broken vase. To help fill in with entertainment, Rochester offers to come to the studio and sing. Hey, in real life, that’s what Eddie Anderson did in vaudeville.
The Sportsmen cut loose with a version of, Me and My Shadow. Jack complains about his writers, but takes what work they have, with the promise of more to come. It looks like a detective play featuring Inspector OBenny. Jack assigns the other parts, and the play begins. The Murder of Malcolm Smith. In police headquarters, Mary phones in a report of her husbands murder With aledged typos. The band plays inappropriate theme music. There’s plenty of abrupt halts in the flow of the script, as the writers need to be consulted for more pages. The play limps along. Even the sound man has bad timing tonight. It’s a show so bad that it’s good.